my housemate and I have been hiding this doll he found around the house for each other to find for months now and it’s getting progressively worse
Wow…the moon looks so beautiful….
this is honestly my favorite post
So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.
Steve Rogers doesn’t know about Luke’s dad.
…What did that Avengers Tower movie night look like?
"Okay, I’ve got historical events and music so far. What movies do I need to see?" Steve asks, breaking out his notebook.
“Some Like It Hot,” Bruce says immediately.
“Robin Hood,” Clint puts in, to no one’s surprise.
Steve smiles. “Errol Flynn?”
“Men in Tights.”
Natasha looks up from where she’s curled in an armchair. “The Sound of Music?”
Clint snorts. “I think he might object to the singing Nazis, Nat.”
Steve just raises an eyebrow. “Singing Nazis?” That one goes on the list.
"Ooh, in that case, Pearl Harbor,” Tony says.
A chorus of groans and protests meet his statement.
"What? I kind of want to see his head explode."
Steve does not put that one on the list. “Anything else?”
“Star Wars,” Darcy says, without looking up from her phone.
The room goes silent. Everyone stops and stares at her like they’ve forgotten she stuck around after Jane went back to New Mexico. Which they probably have.
"Darce, you’re a genius,” Clint breathes.
Bruce actually smiles. “We are in the presence of the last unspoiled adult in the entire country.”
Tony’s eyes light up. “Oh my god, he doesn’t know that Vader is—”
Natasha has him in a choke-hold before anyone realizes she’s moving. “Not another syllable.”
Tony raises his hands in surrender, and Natasha loosens her hold. “What the hell was that about?” he wheezes.
She nods towards Bruce, who is looking somewhat green around the gills.
"Spoilers make him angry."
Still to this day my favorite comic
Okay let me tell you this story my teacher told me in like 6th grade that I still somehow remember to this day. And by somehow, I mean it was fucking hilarious and I’ll never stop laughing.
In college she was a teacher’s aid for an anatomy class or something or another. On the day they were suppose to examine an actually corpse one of the past students came in with an empty body bag. To put it simply, he pretended to be the dead body they were going to examine that day.
She knew this shit was going to be hilarious so she played along and pretended everything was going according to the plan. When the instructor came in and didn’t even check to make sure everything was in order. Nope, came in around the same time as the students and began the lesson straight away.
About 5 minutes a low moan came from the body bag, like something you’d hear out of a zombie movie.
Some of the closer students tilts their head and frown, but they doesn’t say anything. The instructor doesn’t even notice.
A little bit afterwards he moans loader. A few more people hear it this time around. They are understandably a bit worried, and a bit scared. This time the Instructor does notice, but he rolls his eyes.
For the next 10 minutes there is no noise from the body bag. The students have calmed by this point and the Instructor is winding down his lecture and about ready to move on to the practical.
Right as the Instructor moves over to the table the body bag is sitting on, the dude sits straight up in the bag and makes the stupidest zombie moans known to mankind.
Everyone straight up flips their shit. One of the girls ends up puking because she’s so scared and the rest of the students are running out the classroom, knocking over furniture, and screaming in terror.
IT GOT BETTER